How I found my own way ok + thanks to Elizabeth Gilbert

This is my first blog on my new web page. It reminds me of last week.

I eye off the great white page that’s taped to the wall. Every Tuesday night I open up the Paint-Journey class and think I won’t paint too, I'll leave the group to it while I 'tidy up after the kids class’ and ‘get some other things done’. And every time there’s that voice inside that says, No ‘Just do it!’

Ok, so I throw some blue paint about.

I know if you just begin, and continue – something happens.

And usually it’s an answer to a question you didn’t even know you were asking.

By the time I find myself in that evening room I’m usually frustrated, not finished something I wish I had and by then on my back about getting sidetracked all day or something else.

I go back, with pink. I have no plan.

“I love the sounds, even the traffic, and the feet walking back and forth, choosing colours, washing brushes. The scrubbing, the splashes, the stirring, it’s like a meditation” Jo

I’m stuck. Now what? Turn the paper around. Another perspective.

I grab a big brush and red. I sweep it hard and fast. It bleeds down the page.

What was that? No idea. Oh a flower, that’s a bit twee. . . Ah the thoughts . .

I turn the page again and play with grey.

It’s calmer, there are patterns and fingers and lines. I turn the page again.

A few laps back to my tea . . . and I see it.

It’s a bird. I find her eye.

She’s honing in on that flower, curious.

At the end of class we share what we see with each other, Katrin says she sees a hummingbird. And I melt.

It’s what Liz Gilbert said when I heard her talk that brought the first tears of relief. She confessed her mistaken exuberance in her particular 'jackhammer' way, of passion and persistence, of going after that one thing, as ‘the only way’ and apologized to all those who aren’t wired that same way. The ones whose path is not single-minded, focused, specialized, or one-thing-directed but crisscrossed and interwoven, she called us Hummingbirds.

She absolved us of that nasty wrongness. Called us pollinators and fertilizers. I love her for that.

So here's my proclamation I love connecting flowers with pollen so they can blossom. And people with ideas, encouragement and experiences so they can BLOOM.

So for all you, like me, without that one and only ‘thing’ we hereby have permission to just ‘turn a quarter degree – to what’s calling us – towards our curiosity’.

Then share it with someone else, you never know what you'll be seeding.

What’s making you curious?

 

To the Journey

Xxx Kaye

Ps. and for when you don't even know what's calling you? Then just start doing something, sure it can be painting, doodling, walking anything that gets you out of thinking. Keep going and see what pops in. If you are in Zurich you can come Paint-Journey with us.

Pps. And definitely pick up Big Magic - even just looking at it beside me makes me smile!

"The work wants to be made, and it wants to be made through you."

pocket money: a book about random acts of kindness

YAY - Announcement!

It's been a year of newness, strangeness and change.  But I'm so excited to finish it up with my book

Pocket Money published and off into the world!

I told the big old story of how I made it - all by hand,

here

I was interviewed by

The Woolf Magazine here.

Now - to think that it's available to be ordered from anywhere makes me break into a smile. That means we can send random acts of kindness, synchronicities and serendipities all over the world! 

Check it out on

Amazon

or find it wherever you like to get books. 

Hint, it's a sweet present to send for sparking curiosity and conversations.

Like what you find if you took your hands out of your pockets? Or, how would you meet if you didn't speak the same language?

Thanks for hanging in with me on this journey. I hope you will join me in wishing for this season tsunamis of simple kindnesses!!

BIG love

Kaye

the mal_Raum

The mal_Raum – the paint space, a piece of space.

It’s my studio!

Katharina started here years ago. She loves a play on words and setting people free in a space with paint, to just explore. So when I heard she was thinking of closing down something in me screamed, nooo. I wanted to keep that kind of spirit alive.

So now we are!

Along with the lovely Lemady, we are opening our next era.

When I landed in Switzerland from Australia at the end of 2011 it was the chance of my Swiss man to share with our two children their half Swissness and it became my chance to paint again.

Sure I’d graduated school and art school with prizes, painted whole year projects, doodled, drawn cartoons for Disney, had children, finger-painted and coloured in. Before leaving Australia I was leading creativity classes, I’d been coordinating a community centre, mentoring new teachers into their first practices of art, music, dance and movement therapies. I loved it. But it was a long time since I’d made my own art.

I didn’t have a lot of space in my new home so in my little wintergarden and mostly on our dining room table I explored. Lots of illustrations. What came out was that book, I’d always had in the back of my dreams. I had so much fun. Then two things came from that. I wanted the space to paint bigger things and I wanted to share creating with others again.

Now I’m in the mal_Raum, and I get the chance paint bigger and I get to give others the chance to see what’s inside them to express!

If you’re in Zurich too, I can’t wait to paint with you. Check out our classes on the mal_Raum site!

Or just write me now if you’re ready to start!

What’s waiting for a little space for you to express?

xxx Kaye :)

Desire Map Sydney - April

A few treasures from my Desire Map Workshop in Sydney :)

"Taking time out of our crazy life at this time was a gift, and coming back to my core desires felt like a resetting of my compass"  Elizabeth Criner, Nutritionist and Healer

Thank you for such a special day. It was great to be surrounded by like minded women in such an honest and open environment. Poppy Kural, Fine Art Student

The beautiful flowers and our custom Australian Bushflower Essences selected for the day and made up by our honoured guest Dephi (4) with her mum Lizzy.

Making magic. Bringing all our generations in with us

Calling in Core Desired Feelings.

Creating goals with soul starts with the GPS of your core desired feelings. 

How do you want to feel???

Find out more here

Grab the book - do it yourself

Better still - gather some friends do it together, just call me.

"The intimacy of having you and my best friends was a blessing.

It really helps to carry these words around with me and I have found it very comforting working from the basic idea of reminding myself of these feelings day by day. . . I loved it and feel compelled to pass it on just like you did."

Emma Hudson, Fine Arts Student

xxx Kaye

how core desired feelings can lead you (if you let them ;)

I flew back into Australia in March to spend more than a month, just me. Wow, it happened. Not long before I’d declared my core desired feelings. One of them was to feel -

free

. And there I was – thank you!

Free to leave my kids at home. Free to be there in real time with my siblings to deal the best way I could with ‘family business’ that had come up, I also wanted to take the opportunity to share my new role as facilitator of the

Desire Map Workshops

.

But you know that feeling of going back to family, the house you grew up in, the old home town, it’s lovely, it’s comforting but oops it’s slippery. Operative words ‘the old’, suddenly you’re right back there, in the past, and things get sticky.

So there I am trying to do everything right and see friends and stay on track and enjoy myself. I was trying to stay focused, when sitting with my dear friend and co-facilitator

Sylvia

out came another book and set of tools. NOOO, I thought I’m not starting anything else, no sidetracking, no nothing new; I’m sticking with the program!

Ok. so I didn’t. I gave in. 

I spent nights doing “The Work” with Byron Katie. It was amazing, and simple and well, done. Each time I felt lighter, I was able to meet with all my family stories fresher, with all my obligations easier, with all my expectations kinder. 

Oh wow, that’s it. I felt free!

The pennies just kept dropping and a deeper knowing set in of how putting the way you want to feel out first brings you to your goals in a so much richer way than just writing them down and doggedly trying to tick them off.

And of course it turns out another of my CDFs was –

golden engaged

- and that’s how I felt, fully present, deeply grateful for every moment I had, the whole trip. 

So it turns out sometimes getting sidetracked is a part of the goal.

Ask yourself - How do I want to feel?

follow the signs. . . let yourself be led. . .

I’d love to know what your best sidetracks have been. Write me below in the comments :)

xxx Kaye

my mum's kitchen

ps. I just came across an analogy of how tiring time in a museum can be and how since life is continually expanding, being around artifacts from the past is simply being around a more contracted energy. Just like back home and all the old stuff, it can bring you back to the older more contracted you. Ugh tight. But immersing yourself in appreciation (like the historians do) can make it a complete joy. I hope you find that place next time you go back home.

pps. I fully recommend

Byron Katie’s “The Work”

– do some ;)

keeping your head above water, while diving / or doodling your way out of a mess

I was so stumped this day. Frustrated, overloaded, confused, mess, papers, notes everywhere, overwhelmed. 

From somewhere a small voice said -  just draw.

Draw it out

. I swiped the table clear. Grabbed notebook + pencil and doodled. Three little circles and a big straight line . . . then out came this guy.

A whale, the biggest thing, a lot of darkness and an impossibility. That's exactly how I felt. 

Drawing it out felt good, I could see it, I could even smile, again. I could see I was taking in and in more information, more options, more ideas and not letting any out. I felt all blown up, like a scuba diver with her weight belt on and life vest fully inflated.  

Funny along came my man, saw it, and said 'she needs to let a little more air out that spout'. Yeah. But not holding on to it all and letting it out was scary. I didn't know what would happen.

It all went out, oops. . . flat, like a sole on the floor. Blink.

Nothing.

Now what? 

. . .Ok breathe, just only what you need 

What's the first thing . . .

So keeping your head above water, and diving. You can't do both at the same time.

You gotta let go.

Thanks to some scribbles, I found my way on. 

Free - to change :)

What's your best way to check in with how you're feeling? 

And then to ask

How do I want to feel. . . now?

How endings make beginnings


Hello Friends

A bit of a round up

I’ve been now three years living in Switzerland. I’ve met a lot of international people and yes, it really takes that long, to land.

So I finished a project! Something I’d promised to myself. It really helped with all the *landing*. If you’ve got questions – start a project. If you want to find the answers – finish it! that's what I say.
Anyway that’s how it felt for me. It is a book, a picture book – I made it, all of it, by hand. It’s called Pocket money; it’s about random acts of kindness, synchronicity and serendipity. And there are a couple of the limited edition of 42 left. If you want one – email me.

I wrote the epic blog post about it. Turns out that was my 100th blog post! It had me looking over where I’d started on this adventure and what this emBOLDed thing all meant.

Then in that moment of stillness, that comes after *finished*, dropped the next serendipity. The perfect container for my work of helping others going through big changes, dreaming up projects, and getting them done.

It’s a heart centred approach to driving your life, but mostly it’s all about designing a life that feels good! There will be workshops, there will be private sessions, ok and there will probably be coloured pencils. Cue drum roll: I am now a Licensee and Facilitator of *The Desire Map*!!

Let’s be a part of a movement that starts from our hearts.

I’m refreshing my list. I’ll be sharing what’s on my mind, what’s in my heart and sometimes the *bold beings* that cross my path. I’ll keep it short and occasional.

So if you want come along, please sign up here.

Thank you.

* indicates required





projects

 

 Seeding Joy

A mini workshop for reclaiming your creativity

For passionate, curious women

who want access to their gifts.

***

On the surface it’s about

making a piece of art together

But really it’s about losing the lurker of Comparison and

Remembering your Uniqueness.

***

By the end of our time:

·

You will have stepped out of your ordinary day, meditated,

maybe moved a little – ahh.

·

You will have played with colour and made something.

·

You will have some tools for seeing the world a little differently.

·

And you will have a Talisman to take home to grow your creativity . . .

·

And best of all you will have the experience of being seen and heard

by others seeking joy and a little more creativity just like you.

 Gather a few friends or close work team and

set a date.

*** 

reBOLDing

private sessions

life gone flat? 

for life-transitioners + curious kindred spirits

get started

get back in synch,

see the possibilities, seize the opportunities

feeling overwhelmed, scattered or just plain bla?

Be reBOLDed

On the surface it’s about guiding,

though your transition, simply, from where you are, to where you want to be.

But really, it’s about remembering who you are and choosing who you are becoming.

It’s designed for people who want more richness, more joy in their life, and secretly know they have so much more to offer.

A potent mix of my years reading tarot, making art and coaching, by the end of our time together you will:

  • Be reacquainted with your resources 
  • Find solutions perfect for you
  • Have new tools for staying focused
  • Be excited to get out and get started

And best of all you’ll have the experience of being seen and heard by someone who really 

gets

you.

Grab your curiosity and get ready to play (there could be cards, candles and colour pencils). Dare to

claim a date

for you and your time to shine!

Makes no difference where you are.

It works online and in person.

xxxKaye

Gratitudes . . .

I came in overwhelm, hoping to feel some calm and clarity… and I left with so much more!

When Kaye recently offered me a tarot card reading, I jumped at the opportunity ~ however this was unlike any other reading I’ve had before. There is no doubt that Kaye is gifted in her ability to read cards and pinpoint what is there: without knowing me and what I’ve had brewing and bubbling up inside me she immediately saw I was wanting to bring something big to the world, that it was time, and I have everything alignment to make this a success, if I just keep moving forward with it. The confidence and inspiration this instilled in me left me with goose bumps! and has had me forging ahead with my project in leaps and bounds ~ this kind of encouragement and clarity has been priceless!

But what Kaye then offered me was when the magic really began – it was her artworkand follow-up Mentoring sessions that allowed for a even greater impact of her work. Kaye suggested that I look through some of the pieces she has created around traditional tarot cards ~ these stunning cards are Kaye’s own interpretation of traditional cards and are truly breathtaking. I have mine sitting next to my laptop for daily inspiration and that little nudge to keep going, that I am supported and my dreams have been heard; the rest is simply up to me.

And I guess that is where the potentially tricky part comes in; where I would have normally come unstuck and allowed for many more months to pass before working on my dream again. However Kaye has created the perfect container to hold and encourage that dream to come to fruition – with 3 follow-up sessions that I chose to take by phone, Kaye has been there to cheerlead and support my next moves; to ask the hard questions and help me focus on my exact next steps and birth this thing!

Kaye has found a wonderful way to blend the amazing gifts and talents she has ~ allow her to emBOLDen you too... I deeply encourage you to seek her out if you are wanting to find clarity, answers and a way of moving forward with making your own desires and dreams a reality!

Emma Bathie

,  Holistic Health Coach

Wow! Kaye, you are exceptional...as a person and an artist.

There are very few people who truly listen. Taking time to listen is giving. Giving is loving.

Thank you sharing time with me. It gave me comfort, and I appreciated your objectivity. You helped confirm so much that I am subconsciously aware of. Saying it aloud brings it all to life.

The gift of your art is awesome. Thank you, thank you. I am reading a story of joy in it . . . (and much more). I'm hanging it in my apartment to help me through my transition . . .

Sylvia Roder

-

Global Communications Expert

I love working with Kaye! . . . she is woman of many diverse talents. I think  this wide breadth of life experience is one of the things that  makes her such a wonderful guide/mentor.   

Roxanne Wilson

Actor

to read more lovely words go

here

on making a book - my first

When I finished making my book (yep by hand!) the question I was asked most often was 'wow, how long did it take you'? After a kind of head tilting aaahh. . . like that explains, um what? the sightings at the railway station? the missed dates, phone calls, German classes? that paint on your fingers?

So I gathered up my instagrams for a

behind the scenes story

or it could even be the recap of a year

or all of my time here. . .

oh, so

where does it begin?

. . . I think I need a cuppa tea

It took a lot of tea

and lots of different 'takes'

But where it really began was a desire

to make a kids book 

You know the kind that still work when you're older.

Like these . . .   (I'm gonna make a list of my favourites - I hope you help me add to it)

It took a while from that first out-loud-admission.

I fully wrote and drafted two other books, I did short courses and had a wonderful writing circle full of encouragement back in Australia before this book came, in the end - that had no words.

ok more tea and plenty of getting sidetracked on the computer didn't make it any faster.

Then one day these guys turned up, with raised eyebrows. . . 'so what's going on???"

and I said 'Ah, there you are'. . . raising mine

and drew out their stories. . .

Then I started to paint.

ok, not straight away.

There were lots (and lots) of stalled moments.

Weekly mutual mentoring with my new

Powerhouse

pal

Pauline

helped

and these surprising new

leftie friends

came along with a different kind :)

Funny questions came up, like, 'what are they going to wear'?

Then I found old sewing patterns my sister had sent me, from my mum's bottom draw

and I made them some clothes. . .

I pulled out pencils

sharpened up edges

brightened up bits. . .

There was plenty of mess,

but it was a good kind of mess

I liked it

Finally there were twenty eight pages.

And then came the technical stuff

I had to learn how to play with this . . .

Thanks again

Pauline

Scanned and formatted and pdf'd, it then was all in one tiny memory stick and

Off to the

printers

=

one big box of solid paper

Then it all left my dining room table and took the train, into the city and off to work - at the

Buchbekleidung

(book-clother) -

a book binder in Zurich on the river Limmat

. An amazing place, I'd stumbled upon one day on my bike almost two years ago, exploring the back streets of Zurich, floor to ceiling books and paper and material and old book binding machinery. That day I made a promise, I'd be back to make something here! And here I was. A whole new world had started, with the whole first day - folding.

Then there was gluing - lots of gluing, 50x books of gluing. a sticky business

Monotonous sometimes, but never a dull moment. Always someone coming in the door with a cool project and always Christa getting them involved. Even my kids surprised me one school-free day and next minute she had them making books. They went home with five notebooks, hand sewn ;)

The pages started coming together . . .

These fold out kind = leporello (my new book word)

that's the kind that open up like a concertina - fun, it takes the story all over the room and out the door

Then there were the covers . . .

more cutting, gluing, sticking and

did I mention the machines? The huge guillotine, the old presses and our favourite the cutting machine that can shave off one rainbow millimetre of a whole stack of books!

And the days and days (and nights) it all took? Oh and the mistakes? argh! the drop in the belly at 9pm when you think you've really really finished after the three other days when you thought you'd really be finished?

That's the time you need a working buddy

(

Lib

) who knows what's going on, for those *sigh* exasperated texts or *grr's*, who's been there, who understands the tangles. A place you can share the not so good bits with the great ones too.

I lost my earlier mutual mentoring buddy to the international-life-and-going-back-home story :/

I miss the tea and the excursions to the city, but it still works on skype.

I so value this friendship of co encouragement

that now I'm putting dates all through my week, like my great walk-together-speak-in-German-friend, and my walk-a-bit-faster-oh-o-jogging friend, and the watch-out-running friend?! I'll be fit and fluent in no time. ha  ;)

Here was a window when we (that's me and the book) went out to play - we were invited to the

12. Frauenfelder Buch und Druckkunst Messe

(that's

Art Book Fair

) It was amazing to see all the beautiful books and meet some of the makers. Totally inspired. But.

It felt a bit like holding your two year old's hand though and asking her to tell that lovely story she came out with in the bath. Oh and remember all this was in German! ha ha, and every time I missed another German class in the 'making of' Christa would say 'You are learning more German with me' (in German of course) and I was. I recommend it now - any project or curiosity - for us in other countries - try it in another language - Challenge on ;)

So back in the workshop and hand doing the final touches, or the crazy bits = stamping letter by letter :/  thanks to

maya

for the stamps. Just like it takes a village to raise a child it's all the interwoven parts I love that make a project come alive.

done!

then it was time to celebrate and dedicate.

This story is dedicated to my mother. 

To those random odd conversations with strange Greek villagers, that made the teenage us cringe, but that brought invitations and sacks of fresh apricots to our feet. To the warmth and the boldness and the welcoming smile. And to the hand bag full of weird stuff that we used to scoff at, but that always produced the perfect answer, to help someone. 

Frau Gerold's Garten

reminded me of her. A little bit of wildness in the Swiss city.  I chose it for

The Launch

. It was another place I'd found in my Zurich wanderings. The

Powerhouse

girls sent me past there on my way their great meetings at the

Viaduct

. In the summer it's all outside and renegade gardens in boxes but in winter it was even better. We snuggled into the wooden Stubli, fire burning, all decorated with knitting. ha. just like my mum's ;) We shared coffee and cakes and books and stories.

And I got to thank all the people that have made this new city, country, place, feel like home. 

The books went off with special messages and hugs

, there was music, and

we made some flowers from paper - and left them behind, on our way home 

to brighten up someone else's winter.

 Seeding serendipity.

So, yes there was a lot of tea involved . . .

here's how much!

and much more that spilled over and got dipped in with paintbrushes . . .

yep Yogi tea - with the tiny reminders every time.

That one on the top?  '

Fall in love with your

strength

boldness

' ;)

What's your desire?

What's your project?

What's your tea??

with love

and gratitude

Kaye

p.s. They did also ask 'Can I get one?' ' Do you have any left?'

Yes, there are a few of the limited edition left,  if you want one send me a

note.

Or stay tuned for the regular published version - coming soon.

not all bears are big

 fragile for

illustration frida

y

My daughter just finished a project on bears so I've been seeing a lot of them this week. (Did you know that polar bears fur is hollow, it

traps air inside and makes the bear buoyant in water. ha ;). 

But it was when a friend told me I had an owl as a 'spirit animal' and I started thinking of other kinds. I thought, if you had a bear would you always have to be larger than life and strong? . . . Then I thought of the little guys that live in the wild place over the hill from me. When I first saw them, the three of them were rumbling around together and then one raced up the tree. Like the thinnest young tree and it just bent,

right

over. Mum was watching from the pond though and when it looked like breaking she leaned on out of the water and looked, hard. Instantly, baby came clumsily down. So I'm thinking 'no' and 'yes' both. 

ps. I made an

owl

too. . .

what kind of animal have you got walking with you?

the mask - illustration friday



She pulled out her favourite, the best for a party. It went with her shoes and the bag and the do. The others had theirs and the conversation turned. She slid sideways with her glass to refill. Down the hall, the door was ajar it beckoned her in. Respite from the chatter and clatter and din. In the darkness she felt, around her feet were strewn all manor of things. Hm, no one was watching, she tried one on. . .




what would you secretly like to try on?

identity crisis?


Who am I now and what do I like, what do I want, what do I do?? These are the kind of questions that come up a lot when you move to another country, lose a job, get to another age or your kids do and you wonder what's next. Sure nothing stays the same. But all those questions had me spiralling around in a bit of a whirlpool, till this week. I went to the Kunsthaus Zurich.



I got an invite to see Cindy Sherman (and write about it) and there were wigs! Sherman’s famous for taking the ultimate selfies. But they are none of them her and yet all of them are. There's aging doyennes, clowns, murder victims, fifties movie stars and old master's oil paintings. Critics call social commentary, gender roles and confrontation, but she calls everything – ‘untitled’. Make up your own stories. I was fascinated and went looking for the ‘real’ her (on youtube). And yes she loves to dress up and to shock but what caught me was her telling the story of the photo album she made as a child with every picture of her circled and arrowed ‘this is me’. 





I haven’t got any of my old photo albums with me here, they’re all in a box, in a shed, in the country, in Australia, but I remember them. Ok, we’ve all got (well us old enough to) those mad hair eighties ones and I’ve got plenty bleached hair surfie ones, I didn’t quite catch the dark arty ones but there’s the flat hat graduating ones, not to mention the best dress for the party ones and the sunburned knee skinned kid ones. We evolve.



Back through those earlier years almost all our parties were ‘fancy dress’ (read ‘costume’) and you got to turn up as all kinds of characters. It was fun to try out someone wildly opposite to your regular self and it was always fascinating to see the alter egos emerge. There were dangers though, like the time I went with a friend as Neil andVivian and she had to shout the whole time and I got so low I had to leave and come back as someone else ;)



At the exhibition there was a photo booth and all the wigs and gigs to play. Suddenly everything was fun again and it didn’t matter what you chose, cause you could do it all differently the next time.  





Jung says we are full of archetypal selves. Hiro says we are a world within ourselves and we all add up to whole. Years ago I did Julia Cameron’s fun game of searching out our secret selves in A Vein of Gold. I loved finding my red lipped vespa vamp who likes a bit of polka dot. Today pulling out my new white Dr Martin boots (ok shoes) is bringing back home to an old bold stomping in the world girl.





It's time to play, to wear what feels like fun, or, what ever I want to feel.



These guys are doing it too - I'm joining in =  #thewearyourjoyproject  
Pull out your true colours – the many of them - who've you got in your closet? 
Tell me! Let's play . . .






Big love

Kaye

being bold

I want to live in a world where we grow 
the courage + joy
to love + live
all our messy and marvelous selves.

For me right now being bold is letting words fall out in clumsy rhyme 
drawing out the stories that pop in my mind and 
colouring them with feelings that might smear or shine . . .




What's being bold for you?



I am emBOLDed when I
dare to be
all of me.

When I know
it's not about being perfect
it's about having a go.

When I allow
all of my feelings to be my guide
and I listen.

When I acknowledge
where I'm at
and appreciate the fact.

When I am grateful
or find a way to be
no matter what.

When I don't call myself
wrong or right
just now and next.

When I choose
and know I can
in every moment.

and when I am willing
to become the new
even when I've never
met it.

When I find a smile
even when it takes
a while
and when I remember
I am so much more
than you
or even I
can see.

Be bold
Be YOU.