How I found my own way ok + thanks to Elizabeth Gilbert

This is my first blog on my new web page. It reminds me of last week.

I eye off the great white page that’s taped to the wall. Every Tuesday night I open up the Paint-Journey class and think I won’t paint too, I'll leave the group to it while I 'tidy up after the kids class’ and ‘get some other things done’. And every time there’s that voice inside that says, No ‘Just do it!’

Ok, so I throw some blue paint about.

I know if you just begin, and continue – something happens.

And usually it’s an answer to a question you didn’t even know you were asking.

By the time I find myself in that evening room I’m usually frustrated, not finished something I wish I had and by then on my back about getting sidetracked all day or something else.

I go back, with pink. I have no plan.

“I love the sounds, even the traffic, and the feet walking back and forth, choosing colours, washing brushes. The scrubbing, the splashes, the stirring, it’s like a meditation” Jo

I’m stuck. Now what? Turn the paper around. Another perspective.

I grab a big brush and red. I sweep it hard and fast. It bleeds down the page.

What was that? No idea. Oh a flower, that’s a bit twee. . . Ah the thoughts . .

I turn the page again and play with grey.

It’s calmer, there are patterns and fingers and lines. I turn the page again.

A few laps back to my tea . . . and I see it.

It’s a bird. I find her eye.

She’s honing in on that flower, curious.

At the end of class we share what we see with each other, Katrin says she sees a hummingbird. And I melt.

It’s what Liz Gilbert said when I heard her talk that brought the first tears of relief. She confessed her mistaken exuberance in her particular 'jackhammer' way, of passion and persistence, of going after that one thing, as ‘the only way’ and apologized to all those who aren’t wired that same way. The ones whose path is not single-minded, focused, specialized, or one-thing-directed but crisscrossed and interwoven, she called us Hummingbirds.

She absolved us of that nasty wrongness. Called us pollinators and fertilizers. I love her for that.

So here's my proclamation I love connecting flowers with pollen so they can blossom. And people with ideas, encouragement and experiences so they can BLOOM.

So for all you, like me, without that one and only ‘thing’ we hereby have permission to just ‘turn a quarter degree – to what’s calling us – towards our curiosity’.

Then share it with someone else, you never know what you'll be seeding.

What’s making you curious?

 

To the Journey

Xxx Kaye

Ps. and for when you don't even know what's calling you? Then just start doing something, sure it can be painting, doodling, walking anything that gets you out of thinking. Keep going and see what pops in. If you are in Zurich you can come Paint-Journey with us.

Pps. And definitely pick up Big Magic - even just looking at it beside me makes me smile!

"The work wants to be made, and it wants to be made through you."