big steps // small steps

illustration friday - shy

Where have you been hiding?

I’d hide for hours under the stairs in the corner, way before there was a Harry.  It was my invisible test to see how long before anyone noticed. I’d hear them passing by and up and down on their way to rooms or cups of tea.  Eventually I’d start to hear “where’s Kaye?” What a funny satisfaction in that simple question mark.

Where is your hiding place? 
Have you been waiting for someone else to see you 
and tell you it’s ok to come out to shine?

And when they did notice and say ‘hey, wonderful, that’s great’ 
did you pass it off and say ‘oh no’, ‘not that’, ‘not me’?

It took a lot of years to realise it wasn’t up to them to find me, 
that I wasn’t a product of another’s reflection, 
I had my own shine – inside.


Come out

Let's shine 

Where's your hiding place?
And what are you waiting for?

a bit of Paris

looking from the centre out in all directions

a little bit of Paris

old friends making new memories

little bit of wisdom - ok maybe a Levis ad?

Avenue of love

you gotta start by loving you ;)

sailing on the seven seas

a perspective

a promise

a question - what's your dream?

follow it . . .

The kind of moments you get when you're closer to things
when you get an invitation
and when you say yes

But what to do in two short wintry days?
Be with friends
Be amazed - again
Be curious - look beyond or behind
Be open - to what you find

What a gift 
a time out of time 
a moment 
out of all my busy mine
to just be
and soak it up 
a little atmosphere 
a breath of different air 
refreshed revived

You can take those moments anywhere. What's that great quote about change? It's all about seeing with different eyes? When I lived in Bondi, when I lived in Byron, even when I lived in Bali when I got so tangled up in my same life repeating myself over and over . . . I'd just take a different way home, put on a different tune, put on a different kind of hat and open the way for something new . . . 
give yourself a surprise - a gift to you xx


There's no turning back

out of the comfort zone
and into the

the new

The surf was all small in Bondi on the weekend
It was lovely to see all my old surf pals again
Caught a few tiny waves to hold in my memory.

While my insides feel like I've taken off on a monster.
Where is the bottom and when do I turn?
How do I ride this one?
All new terrain.

Hey ok - like we all know
be right here now
take it one moment at a time
feel as you feel

A lot of feelings running around
be still

it's a timeless wide moment

now even this painting's been sold
the house almost empty

it's time to be bold.

Moving to another country on the other side of the world? 
another language? another way?

How have some of those big changes been for you?


My children are my impetus
I want to show them - go.

My boy made this drawing for me
many years ago.

I hear them tell that I'm an artist
they haven't my tongue tie
of stumbling over the word of it.

They only see me smile.
When I am making something
with colors and light and time.

I'm here to tell them not to 'try'
just do it, have a go.
Now it's time to take my own words
it's time to 'nelmundo'

He he. When I start to write I can't help rhyme, it just falls out that way. The very first email address I chose was 'nelmundo' short for 'en el mundo' when it was all new and I was out there traveling 
many years ago. It meant that - 'in the world'. 

Cos that was the name my father called me when I was a girl.


And here I am

What was your first email name? Or your first nickname?
I love to hear your stories



I feel emboldened today
to jump

to dive right in
to step off
the ledge of the known
and into the blue, the new

It can seem like just me in a big unknown
but I leap hand in hand with friends.
All you just starting too, all who have been before,
standing below knowing
I won't fall, but fly.

Catcher in the Rye

I hadn't read that story before but now I know that's why.
Why it is named that way, to catch those daring to try,
to have a go.

Thanks to my fellow jumper Leanne, as brave as a bear, inside.
She's stepped out on a limb to be there to show that it's fine, even when it feels so high.

I want to stand beside and whisper in the ear of those, who stand there shy with curled up toes
on the edge of the boat that's brought them, out into the sea of life
who knows how deep or shallow, you go with friends not foes.
And what I know inside me is, that clustered all around you are invisible angels shouting - go!

Back there that little me, didn't have a swan dive yet or even a belly flop.
I reckon she just took a step.
And off my life has been.
Lot's of steps and stories, now gathered up behind me
leaning me into this next step
full of fears and potential, standing on the edge.
Hands together in prayer, now stretch them out to dive
over your ears said my first swim teacher.
Don't listen to all those voices
trying to keep you  safe.
Listen to your heart and dive now
know that you can fly.

thanks to Kelly Rae for her flight lessons and all my fellow flyers.

And my team of angels who's wings I feel, inspiring my heart.

A blind surfer once told me "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly"
What's the latest big small step you've taken?
I'd love to hear

(yep that's really me and my favourite little boat :)